everything collide.

December 16th, 2010.

I like to believe you’re out there, somewhere, thinking these thoughts and feeling these feelings. I like to close my eyes and pretend I’m holding you, and you’re looking back at me with those heavy eyes like you used to. You hug me tightly and let me hold on those few extra seconds because you know I need this moment to last. 

Like a photograph, it’s a snapshot in time; one I secretly carry with me in the back of my mind. It’s better if it’s a secret…it’s my secret weapon. Reality isn’t what it used to be, anymore. Times are tough and everyone is desperately trying to hold onto every bit of hope, of redemption, of feeling.

In these moments of uncertainty I feel you with me. I know you’re not here, and I’m not there, and no one’s really sure if we’re where we’re supposed to be. But I feel you near. And I’m still holding you to the very last second.

(I hope you can feel me, too.)

I think I’ve given up on humanity. People love to hurt one another and no one seems to stand up against it nowadays. I just don’t understand.

Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe all this pain is ‘worth it’. Sure, I’ve gone through my fair share, and yes I’m happy and in love. But I won’t bow down to harsh treatment. I know when to say stop, to put my feelings out of it and say no more. Maybe that’s all a part of growing up.. Learning it’s okay to walk way sometimes. Who knows really. All I’m sure of is that people need to hurt themselves before they can understand.

You really can’t save everyone.

So, I have this one friend who is extremely nice and probably one of the loveliest boys I know. And he loves this girl, the same girl for two years. And last night she cheated on him in front of his face. I believe he deserves so much better! Please like this if you agree with me (he’s on tumblr but refuses to tell me his name, but I know he’ll see this.)

I should almost comment that she’s cheated on him many times before… including having sex with other boys. I know I may be poking into his business but I care about him a lot and he really needs to see that people love him and want the best for him. He’s more sad than he is happy and I can’t stand to see it anymore.

Anyone have a comment?